We interrupt for an unscheduled update

The divorce has been finalized.  I have been in the working equivalent of a bad marriage with my day job for quite some time.  I dread going in, but haven’t found the way to get quite enough saved back to leave.  Well my boss decided to disolve our relationship today.


I came in today and was once again faced with some BS comments that I supposedly made to a trainee disparaging the reputation of two morons.  Yesterday i was questioned about it, since it did not happen I thought I was cool.  Today I was told there was an investigation and that it was confirmed i said these things directly to my trainee and they are letting me go.  My only part of the conversation was “ok, have a nice day.”


In a way it sucks because it means taking about a week to find someplace new and work my way back up the ranks.  On the flip side, with over 10 years restaurant experience and all of it being at higher end places than where I was at, I doubt it will be too difficult to find another job.  Need to take sometime to decide what I want to do next and then make it happen quickly.


All you work folks will be fine without me, but know that the bald man and (edit: I am not going to mention anyone else.  I don’t know or care how involved they were) are not to be trusted.  I have several people to add to that list, but you can all guess who they are.  I’m walking away which I should have done days after I started. 

Can’t see why it didn’t work

So once upon a time I had a profile on Match.com.  It is still there, I am not a member anymore though so i can’t be responded to.  Had very limited success:


Girl 1: Very cool girl, great to talk to.  Just no physical attraction at all.  I really tried to find her attractive it just didn’t work.  I felt pretty shallow, but she was at least 100 pounds heavier than I was and a few inches shorter.


Girl 2: Cool and absolutely thought I was the most brilliant guy she ever met.  Problem wasn’t the 60 more pounds as much as the 60 fewer IQ points.


Girl 3: This girl was a train wreck.  Not bright, a little trashy, and insisted on sending me at least 5 forwarded emails per day of the chain letter and religous variety.  Never even got to the first date.


Girl 4: She was a full four years after the others.  She was a teacher and very attractive.  had a blast on our first few dates and really thought it was heading somewhere.  Then school started back up, she worked a ton and was always run down for the 4 hours a week I got to see her.  Eventually I got the picture she was seeing other people since she was checking her replies on Match.com daily.  I asked her about it.  She accused me of stalking her and said she really didn’t see it working because I lacked ambition.  Granted we met in a transition period of my life, but I am not sure where that came from.  Perhaps a poor understanding of my past and goals for the future.  I still think this was her way to avoid admitting she was cheating, but it is in the past and I am not too worried about it anymore.


Keep in mind this is over a 2 year period.  12 months x 2 years x 29.95 per month = $718.80.  That buys a lot of drinks at the bar for cute girls.


Without further Ado here is the text of my ad:


About me and what I’m looking for



Maybe it was all of the John Hughes movies growing up, but isn’t the nice guy supposed to end up with the right girl in the end. I am still waiting for that ending. I am honest, sincere, loyal, funny, and intellegent. I would like to meet someone with the same characteristics. I have been reasonably successful in business, traveled through most of the country, spent a few years on the coast, and am in Missouri looking to find that happily ever after. I am witty, entertaining, and haven’t forgot the finer points of chivalry I was raised to beleive in. I enjoy people, good food, good conversation, and good music. I am a bit of a social chameleon, I can carry a conversation on most any topic in most any circumstance. Would you like to meet a great guy that leaves you wondering, “what’s the catch?” Then you may not be for me. If you never lost faith that there was a wonderful guy out there for you, then I think it is time we met. I didn’t lead off with what I looked like for a reason. Too often the wrong girls will talk to me because of how I look. Meanwhile, The girls I may want to talk to are afraid to come by. I am not a model, but you won’t be disappointed.


I would like to meet a woman who is sweet, funny, sincere, and likes to have a good time. Someone who doesn’t need the drama of a boyfriend who is a jerk. Someone who doesn’t find nice guys boring. If a nice, entertaining, secure, and stable guy is what you are looking for I would like to meet you.























for fun:

I enjoy meeting new people. I am very social and have no difficulty striking up a conversation with a stranger. Some people explore the world searching for adventure. I prefer to explore the thoughts of the people all around me.


my job:

After spending years behind a desk, I decided it wasn’t for me. Now I manage a restaurant. I enjoy interacting with guests nightly and leading team through very busy nights.


favorite hot spots:

I like upscale restaurants and dive bars. Each serve their purpose. I love exploring new places around town and have discovered hidden gems in almost every corner of the city.


favorite things:

I typically try to be out and about. The first step in adventure is getting off the couch. I enjoy a good movie and keep the DVR full of reruns of TV Shows I missed the first time around. Try to make time to watch the morning rerun of Ed daily.


last read:


I try to read the paper everyday.


 


For those of you who know me, would you consider it accurate?  For those of you who don’t, What is the ungodly flaw in the ad that kept the response so low?


EDIT: In addition to the question immediately above, I will make this post a choose your own adventure type deal.  Only about 4 people read this so I will let you all vote which topic you would like addressed next.  Option One: True tales of a Hooters Manager.  Option Two: Random celebs I have met.  Choose Wisely

Greetings from Columbia

So since I finally made it through my court experience pretty unscathed, I decided to make it to Columbia.  It is my favorite place on earth to visit.  Some of my oldest and best friends still live here.  Several old fraternity brothers and good friends as well as my buddy Tom who I worked with at Hooters.  He is preparing to take of for Australia next month to open new Hooters there.  So I am sure we will try to squeeze a few more adventures into the next few weeks.


Columbia like an island to me.  Two hours away.  Never run into an unfriendly face.  Whatever problems I am facing when I leave can be forgotten.  4 hours in a car gives you plenty of time to sort things out and return with a clear head.  I really love this town.  It’s like my favorite Jimmy Buffett song, “One Particular Harbor”


I know i don’t get there often enough
But god knows i surely try
It’s a magic kind of medicine
That no doctor could prescribe

I used to rule my world from a pay phone
Ships out on the sea
But now times are rough
And i got too much stuff
Can’t explain likes of me

But there’s this one particular harbour
So far but yet so near
Where i see the days as they fade away
And finally disappear


 


Just for fun I thought I would post this site.  It shows you what the number one song on the day you were born was.  Pretty neat stuff.  So even if you don’t have a comment, post your song.


http://www.thisdayinmusic.com/member/birthdayno1.php


Mine was “Fly Robin Fly” By Silver Convention.  Never heard it


“Jump” By Kriss Kross when I lost my Virginity


“I Swear” By All-4-One the day I graduated


What dates do you remember?

Mitch Hedberg Feb 24 1968- March 30 2005

I’m not sure why it is that so many of the performers I like die too early.  Some of them I never really appreciated or wasn’t old enough to appreciate until after they died (Jeff Buckley, Harry Chapin, John Belushi).  A rare few I was able to enjoy during their life.  Mitch Hedberg was one of them.  Probably my second favorite stand up of all time (The title going to Lil Jimmy Norton, who if you haven’t heard of yet, you will be very soon.) he performed in a style that usually annoys me.  He had a really fresh approach to non sequitor comedy that I really enjoyed.  Unfortunately, he also really enjoyed heroine.  It was a pretty bad day when I found out Mitch had died, but I still have the comedy.


Here is an absurdly long list of Quotes from Mitch I find hilarious.


I got into comedy to do comedy, which is weird, I know. But when you’re in Hollywood and you’re a comedian everybody wants you to do other things besides comedy. They say, “Alright, you’re a standup comedian. Can you act? Can you write? Write us a script.” They want me to do things that’s related to comedy but not comedy. That’s not fair. It’s as though I was a cook, and I worked my ass off to become a really good cook, and they said, “Alright, you’re a cook… Can you farm?”


I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it.


I haven’t slept for ten days, because that would be too long.


When it comes to racism, some people say, “I don’t care if they are black, white, purple or green.” Ah, hold on now…purple or green? You gotta draw the line somewhere. To hell with purple people! Unless they’re suffocatin’… Then, help ’em!


I mumble a lot offstage; I’m a mumbler. If I’m walking with a friend and I say something, he won’t hear me. He’ll say, “What?” So I’ll say it again, but once again he doesn’t hear me, so he says, “What?” But really it’s just some insignificant shit that I’m saying, but now I’m yelling, “That tree is far away!”


Last week I helped my friend stay put. It’s a lot easier than helping someone move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load shit into a truck.


Every book is a children’s book if the kid can read!


I have a few cavities. I don’t like to call ’em cavities, I like to call ’em places to put stuff! ‘Do you know where I can store a pea?’ ‘Yes, I have some locations available’.


I wanted to get my teeth whitened, but I said, “Fuck that. I’ll get a tan instead.”


I got some tartar-control toothpaste. I still got tartar, but that shit’s under control. If the tartar gets outta line, I’m like, “Come on, man, you know the deal. Fall in! You crazy-ass tartar…” I got so much tartar, I don’t have to dip my fish sticks in shit! … That’s actually kinda gross. After I tell that joke, I clarify that I’m just joking. I don’t know how much tartar I actually have. I assume it’s the average amount. If we all did a tartar test right now, my name would be right in the fuckin’ middle.


I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others.


When we were on acid we would go into the woods; because when you were in the woods trippin’ there was less likely a chance you’d run into an authority figure … but we ran into a bear; that was even more of a buzz-kill. My friend Duayne was standing there raising his right hand swearing to help prevent forest fires. We got away from the bear, he put his arm around my shoulder and said to me “Mitchell, Smokey is way more intense in person”


I was in a movie recently. I had a small cameo with Peter Frampton. We had to smoke fake pot in our scene. Do not buy pot on a movie set! But yeah, for this scene I got to smoke fake pot with Peter Frampton. That’s a cool story. It’s as cool as smokin’ real pot with a guy who looks like Peter Frampton. And I done that waaaaaay more.


I think Visine is only used by potheads. Who else would use Visine? “I use Visine because I don’t want people to know that I was swimming.”


Acid really messes with your mind, man. When I was on acid, I’d see things that looked like beams of light… and I’d hear things that sound an awful lot like car horns…


My manager told me, “Mitch, don’t use alcohol as a crutch.” I can’t use alcohol as a crutch because a crutch is something that helps me walk. Alcohol severely fucks up the way I walk. It’s more like the step I didn’t see.


Alcoholism is a disease, but it’s the only one you can get yelled at for having. “Dammit, Otto, you are an alcoholic.” “Dammit, Otto, you have Lupus.” One of those two doesn’t sound right.


I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.


You know when you see an advertisement for a casino, and they have a picture of a guy winning money? That’s false advertising, because that happens the least. That’s like if you’re advertising a hamburger, they could show a guy choking. “This is what happened once.”


I was in a casino, minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, “You’re gonna have to move. You’re blocking a fire exit.” As though if there was a fire, I wasn’t gonna run. If you’re flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit. Unless you’re a table.


Sometimes I wave to people I don’t know. It is very dangerous to wave to people you don’t know, because what if they don’t have a hand? They’ll think you’re cocky. “Look what I got, motherfucker. This thing is useful. I’m gonna go pick something up.”


I wrote a letter to my dad. I wanted to write, “I really enjoy being here,” but I accidentally wrote “rarely” instead of “really.” But I still wanted to use it! I didn’t want to cross it out, so I wrote, “I rarely… drive steamboats, Dad — there’s a lot of shit you don’t know about me. Quit trying to act like I’m a steamboat operator. This letter took a harsh turn right away. Hello, Dad.”


Some songs have a special meaning for a man in regards to a woman, but this can backfire because maybe the song had deeper meaning to begin with, but now it’s been cheapened… “We are the world, we are the children, we are the ones who make a better life so let’s keep on givin’.” “Remember that song, baby? The night I fucked you in the pet cemetery?”


This shirt is dry clean only. Which means …. it’s dirty.


I wear v-neck shirts, this is a v-neck I got on. My neck is so fragile man, I can’t wear a regular neck shirt, it hurts. And I especially hate turtle necks. Wearing a turtle neck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Like if you wear a turtle neck and a backpack it’s like a weak midget is trying to bring you down.


I don’t know shit about cars, man. If my car breaks down, and I don’t see that little “E” on the dashboard, I’m fucked. But if that “E” is there, man, I act all cocky. I’m like “I got this one under control!” Then I pull out the toolbox, AKA wallet.


I rent a lot of cars, ’cause I go on the road, and when I drive a rental car, I don’t know what’s going on with them, right. So a lot of times I’ll drive for like ten miles with the emergency brake on. That doesn’t say a lot for me, but it really doesn’t say a lot for the emergency brake. It’s really not an emergency brake, it’s an emergency ‘make the car smell funny’ lever.


Xylophone is spelled with an X. It should be a Z. Xylophone ZZZ X, I don’t fucking see it. Next time you spell Xylophone, spell it with a Z. If someone tells you that’s wrong, say “no it ain’t.” If you think that that’s wrong then you need to get your head Z-Rayed. It’s like X didn’t have enough to do so they had to promise it more. “Okay, you won’t start a lot of words, but you will have a co-starring role in Tic-Tac-Toe. And you will be equated with hugs and kisses. And you will mark the spot. And you will make writing ‘Christmas’ easier. And you will incidentally start ‘xylophone.’ Are you happy now, you fucking X?”


I want to be a race car passenger–just a guy who bugs the driver. “Say, man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Can I stick my feet out the window? Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Man, you really like Tide.”


I have an oscillating fan at home; it looks like it’s saying ‘Noo…’ so I like to ask it questions that a fan would say ‘no’ to. “Do you keep my hair in place?” “Do you keep my documents in order?” “Do you have three settings?” Liar! My fan fuckin’ lied to me! Now I will pull the pin up. Now you ain’t sayin’ shit!”


I was walking by a dry cleaner at 3 AM and there was a sign that said, “Sorry, we’re closed.” You don’t have to be sorry. It’s 3 AM and you’re a dry cleaner. It would be ridiculous for me to expect you to be open. I’m not gonna come by at 10 and say, “Hey, I was here at 3 AM and you guys were closed. Someone owes me an apology. This jacket would be halfway done!”


I had an apartment and I had a neighbor, and whenever he would knock on my wall I knew he wanted me to turn my music down and that made me angry ’cause I like loud music… so when he knocked on the wall, I’d mess with his head. I’d say, “Go around! I cannot open the wall! I dunno if you have a doorknob on your side but over here there’s nothin’. It’s just flat.”


I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I’m gonna put pins into all the locations that I’ve traveled to. But first, I’m gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won’t fall down.


I like to close my eyes onstage, cuz I have drawn a picture of an audience enjoying the show more on the back of my eyelids…


See, I write jokes for a living, man. I sit in my hotel at night and think of something that’s funny and then I go get a pen and write ’em down. Or, if the pen’s too far away, I have to convince myself that what I thought of wasn’t that funny.


I order a club sandwich all the time. And I’m not even a member. I don’t know how I get away with it. “I like my sandwiches with three pieces of bread.” “So do I.” “Lets form a club then.” “Okay, but we’re gonna need more stipulations.” “Yes we do.” “OK… instead of cutting it once, let’s cut it again.” “Yeah, four triangles.” “And we will position them in a circle. And in the middle we will dump chips.” “Or potato salad.” “Ok.” “Let me ask you a question, how do you feel about frilly toothpicks?” “I’m for ’em!” “Well, this club is formed. Spread the news on menus nationwide.” “I like my sandwiches with alfalfa sprouts.” “Well you’re not in the fucking club!”


At a stoplight, green means go, yellow means slow down, and red means stop. For a banana it’s the complete opposite. Green means hold on, yellow means go right ahead, and red means, dude, where the fuck did you get that banana at?


Mr. Pibb is a replica of Dr Pepper, but it’s a bullshit replica, ‘cuz dude didn’t even get his degree. Why did you have to drop out of school and start making pop so soon?


I opened up a container of yogurt, and under the lid it said “Please Try Again,” because apparently they were having a contest I was unaware of. But I thought I might have opened the yogurt wrong. Or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me — “C’mon, Mitchell, don’t give up. Please try again. A message of inspiration from your friends at Yoplait — Fruit on the bottom, hope on top.”


I was in a bus once, it was in the middle of the night, and I had a box of crackers and a can of Easy Cheese. It was dark, and it was a surprise how much cheese I had applied on each cracker. That’s why they should have a glow-in-the-dark version of Easy Cheese. It’s not like the product has any integrity to begin with. If you buy a room-temperature cheese that you squeeze out of a can, you probably won’t get mad because it glows in the dark too.


I think a rotisserie is like a really morbid ferris wheel for chickens. It’s a strange piece of machinery… “We will take the chicken, kill it, impale it, and then rotate it. And I’ll be damned if I’m not hungry! Because spinning chicken carcasses make my mouth water! I like dizzy chicken. With a side of potatoes of some sort.”


When you go to a restaurant on the weekends and it’s busy they start a waiting list. They start calling out names, they say “Dufrene, party of two. Dufrene, party of two.” And if no one answers they’ll say their name again. “Dufrene, party of two, Dufrene, party of two.” But then if no one answers they’ll just go right on to the next name. “Bush, party of three.” Yeah, but what happened to the Dufrenes? No one seems to give a shit. Who can eat at a time like this – people are missing. You fuckers are selfish… the Dufrenes are in someone’s trunk right now, with duct tape over their mouths. And they’re hungry! That’s a double whammy. We need help. Bush, search party of three! You can eat when you find the Dufrenes.


I went to a pizzeria and I ordered a slice of pizza; the fucker gave me the smallest slice possible. If the pizza was a pie chart for what people would do if they found a million dollars, the fucker gave me the ‘donate to charity’ slice. I would like to exchange this for the ‘keep it’!


Yeah, I’m not into sports. If I had athlete’s foot, my first reaction would be, “That’s not my fucking foot.”


I wish I could play Little League now… I would kick some fuckin’ ass. I’d be way better than before. They’d back up now.


I got an ant farm. Them fellas didn’t grow shit. I say, “You fuckers don’t farm c’mon, what about some carrots? I like carrots. Plus if I tore your legs off, you would look like snowmen.”


That’s all for now.  Go buy this guys CDs.  I personally prefer “Strategic Grill Locations” but “Mitch All Together” is funny too.


PS. I had a great time too and we will be doing it again soon

I keep getting told to update.  I think this is one of the best quotes I have ever heard:


My grandfather was a painter.  He, um, died at age 88.  He illustrated
Robert Frost’s first three books of poetry.  And he was lookin’ at me
and he said, ‘Harry.  There’s two kinds of tired.  There’s good tired.
And there’s bad tired.’  He said, ‘Ironically enough, bad tired can be
a day that you won.  But you won other people’s battles, you lived
other people’s days, other people’s agendas, other people’s dreams.
And when it was all over, there was very little you in there.  And when
you hit the hay at night, somehow you toss and turn, you don’t settle
easy.’  He said, ‘Good tired, ironically enough, can be a day that you
lost.  But you don’t even have to tell yourself, because you knew you
fought your battles, you chased your dreams, you lived your days.  And
when you hit the hay at night, you settle easy.  You sleep the sleep of
the just and you can say, take me away.’  He said, ‘Harry, all my life,
I’ve wanted to be a painter.  And I painted.  God I would have loved to
have been more successful.  But I painted and I painted and I am good
tired.  And they can take me away.’  Now if there’s a process in your
and my lives, in the insecurity that we have about a prior life or an
afterlife.  God, I hope there is a god, if he is — if he does exist,
he’s got a rather weird sense of humor however.  But let’s just — but
if there’s a process that will allow us to live our days, that will
allow us that degree of equanimity towards the end, looking at that
black implacable wall of death, to allow us that degree of peace, that
degree of non-fear, I want in.”

Harry Chapin, December 22, 1980

evarB eB ot tnaW I

“evarB eB ot tnaW I”


This is the Tattoo John Popper have accross the top of his chest along the same curve as his collar bone.  It is a mirrored image of the sentence “I Want to Be Brave” in his words, “This is my only Tattoo.  It’s written backwards because if you wake up in the morning and read that in the mirror you remember how your day is going to be.”


I to want to be brave.  This week I got the courage to do something I had been to scared to do for 6 years.  A good friend made me see that it needed to be done.  It turned out as poorly as it could have, but it was somehow the best resolution it could have had too.


I met a girl waiting tables in 1996.  We dated for over 3 years eventually moving away to school together and living together.  We never doubted we would be married one day.  One night I crawled into our bed, gave her a kiss and said “I love you.”  She didn’t reply.  I said it again, still no reply.  I finally said “Are you trying to tell me you don’t love me anymore?” She said “Sorta”.  I cried that night like I have never cried before.  It was a pain and a sound that comes from your soul.  A pain I have never felt since and never hope to feel again.


She was young when we met.  I never doubted she would eventually need to see more of what was out there.  I always thought that eventually we would get back together.  Not long after we broke up a new girlfriend gave me an ultimatuum and made me stop talking to her.  I unfortunately did.  It is the thing i regret most in my life.


Over the years she became something of a goddess to me.  Perfect in every way.  Literally not a day went by over the last 6 years I haven’t thought about her.  My biggest dream was that one day we would be reunited.  I always knew how to get ahold of her, but was afraid to.  Afraid of what was happen.  Certain fate would lead me to her when the time was right.


So I was talking to Kendra about her the other night and it became apparent it was time to make the call.  My heart didn’t beat for the duration of it.  She obviously saw my name on the caller ID and answered hesitantly.  I said hi.  I asked her if she wanted to grab a cup of coffee or dinner sometime.  She simply replied “No.”


This probably should have crushed me.  I went emotionally numb and was not sure how to handle it.  I think I was in a daze the past few days until I changed the CD in my CD player.  I tossed in the new Blues Traveler CD.  Haven’t been a big fan because alot of the songs hadn’t resonated with me yet.  Last night they finally did.


With those two letters in her one word reply, she once again became human.  She is not the same and neither am I.  She probably never was the person i thought she was right before that call.  The goddess had again become mortal.


It got me thinking alot about when our heros become human.  We place people on pedestals and try to deny thier human frailties.  Yet it is in learning that they are mortal that we are impowered.  Unless our heroes are mortal, we can never be heroes ourself.  It wasn’t til Dorothy found a man behind the curtain in Oz, that she found she had teh power all along.


Even John Popper, a man that I have devined so much wisdom and knowledge from over the years that I could never explain it, is human.  He wakes up every morning with a reminder that he wants to be brave.  Can any of us wish for anything greater during the course of a day.


It has been a tough week.  I have been through some major ups and downs.  Not sure what to make of all of it.  I do know two things though.  I appreciate Kendra giving me the courage to do it more than I can explain.  And I too want to be brave.

Slowly but surely things are improving.  Not much going on right now.  Today i officially got my license back so woo hoo.  I was listening to Johnny Cash’s last album today.  I have to be in a certain mood to listen to it, because the two songs I wan’t played at my funeral are on there.  I don’t think it is morbid, I just see some sort of solace in a man looking at his oncoming death and able to choose any song by any artist as his legacy.  I love a vast majority of his music, but this album really invokes a different feeling.  If you don’t own it you should.


As a matter of fact in my own humble opinion, these are 5 albums that everyone in America should own:


1) Johnny Cash: American Recordings IV: When the Man Comes Around


2) Spearhead: Stay Human


3) Harry Chapin: Gold Medal Collection


4) Blues Traveler: Four


5) Grateful Dead: American Beauty


That’s just my list.  If I ended up stranded on a desert island, those are the 5 albums that in my opinion would best give me all aspects of humanity.  Each is chocked full of insight on the human condition and would provide me with a reminder of why life is beautiful and painful, but always worth it.


if anyone was wondering the two songs are his versions of “In My Life” by the Beatles and “We’ll Meet Again” by Hughie Charles.  The third song being “One Child Born” by Blood Sweat and Tears just to add some comic relief.


 

I am Sisyphus

The Mountains Win Again
Lyrics:
Bobby Sheehan
Music: Bobby Sheehan






I pick up my smile put it in my pocket
Hold it for a while try not to have to drop it
Men are not to cry so how am I to stop it
Keep it all inside don’t show how much she rocked ya

Ooh can you feel the same
Ooh you gotta love the pain
Ooh
it looks like rain again
Ooh I feel it comin’ in
The mountains win again
The mountains win again

Dreams we dreamed at night were never meant to come to life
I can’t understand the ease she pulled away her hand
This time in my life I was hurt enough to care
I guess from now on I’ll be careful what I share

Ooh can you feel the same
Ooh ya gotta love the pain
Ooh it looks like rain again
Yeah feel it comin’ in
The mountains win again

A pocket is no place for a smile anyway
Someday I will find love again will blow my mind
Maybe it will be that love that got away from me
Is there a line to write that could make you cry tonight
Can you feel the same
Yeah ya gotta love the pain
Ooh it looks like rain again
Ooh feel it comin’ in
The mountains win again
Ooh the mountains win again


 


Bobby Sheehan died alone in a hotel room of a Heroin overdose.


 


Sweet Pain
Lyrics: John Popper
Music: John Popper






If Cyrano de Bergerac
Fell prey to the blades of fifty men
With a heart and a sword he’d drive them back
Perchance to see Roxanne’s eyes light up the sky again

And when beauty kind and full of grace
Again denied the beast her hand
The beast he turned and hid his face
And tried with all his might and magic to understand


And once upon a time
You know I used to wonder why
You know no one should need to cry
In pain of a heart forbade to fly
But you learn to say goodbye
As you whisper beneath a sigh

Sweet pain
Can’t you plainly see?
Sweet pain
You know it matters to me
Sweet pain
Won’t you make me feel at home?
Sweet pain
Don’t you dare leave me alone

Sometimes a life that seems hard to take
Is soothed for a while by an old friend
Leaving a bad need in its wake
Sad how, some friendships never ever seem to end
Well all of my heroes up and died
Songs and a dream are left for me
What did them in, not suicide
Just a lengthy friendship and a dream of how it could be

And isn’t it a crime?
Was it more than they could bear?
You know they did not even care
At all and they might have something there
But I’m here and I don’t see where
All I hear is their silent prayer

Sweet pain
Is it so terribly wrong?
Sweet pain
To want to come along
Sweet pain
Won’t you make me smile?
Sweet pain
If only for a while

Can you feel what I feel?
So we can establish that the pain is real
Don’t be afraid and I’ll do the same for you
And we’ll just hang on and we’ll make it, make it through
There’s got to be a reason it works out this way
And there’s something deep inside me
That makes me have to play
For you
For you

In no position to give advice
My heart it spoke and I wrote it down
And you know every wisdom has its price
My head up in the stars
And my feet planted firmly on the ground
When will I embrace this life I see?
I’ve been wondering for so long
Thinking back, the truth may be
I’ve been unaware but I’ve been living it all along

And it didn’t cost a dime
And it did not come for free
It just would not let me be
But it never conquered me
Just a doorway and a key
And I think that we both agree

Sweet pain
Is sometimes what you need
Sweet pain
It allows the blood to bleed
Sweet pain
From the moment of your birth
Sweet pain
You know it keeps you here on Earth


 


When I can put it into words, maybe i will ellaborate.

Of Travelers and Thieves

In a continuing effort to avoid putting original thoughts on my Xanga, I thought I would post my favorite poem for a friend who needs a little courage


Of Travelers & Thieves – Jonathan Lindsey Sheehan

Amidst a huddled crowd
Inside a beggar’s lair
dwell four noble travelers
whose thoughts are fine and fair

To the crowd they speak aloud
all the four as one
Be not afraid to trust thy heart
and with us ye shall come

None be a peasant none be a knave
In this night of knights ye all are brave

The thieves inside thee make advances
borne of fears they steal your chances

In all humanity thieves exist
so every race must clench their fist
and come together to travel as one
a mighty flock beneath the sun

“To our home we must stay nigh,”
was the beggar’s first reply

A gain the travelers spoke aloud

“within the lair there’s great despair
outside we learn to love and care

The thieves with greed should have no place
In a truly caring human race

Just sing with us and you will see
that inner joys are not forbidden
your inhibitions keep them hidden”

The huddled crowd then rose to speak
“The thieves have made us much too weak”

In song the travelers sang as one

“The only thieves that still remain
are those which lurk inside our brain

Worse than a demon, worse than a troll,

is the thief that steals your soul”

In glee the beggars start to see
the power of the jubilee

The night of knights
was a full moon glow
whilst together the crowd
would learn and grow

With a confident trust
their swords they thrust
as they set off to the hills

As one traveler verse begun

Holdeth this joy within your heart
and take this chance to make a start

and as go the leaves on winter trees
so will the presence of inner thieves

Once free to roam the bountiful earth
they hence discovered all her worth

And merry all the land would be
while the sun approached a darkened sea

And for the travelers off they be
with their song that set us free

A Better Place to be

So whenever I feel a relationship has potential of going someplace I eventually make the person listen to this song.  I ask one question afterwards that gives all sorts of perspective into thier views of love and romance.  There is no wrong answer, but there are definately wrong ways to defend the right answer.  Anyone reading can feel free to kick in thier two cents.  Besides the question it is a tremendous song performed by one of the greatest storytellers to ever live.



A Better Place To Be

Performed by Harry Chapin
From Greatest Stories Live © Copyright 1976
Written by Harry Chapin






It was an early morning bar room,
And the place just opened up.
And the little man came in so fast
And he started at his cusps.
And the broad who served the whisky,
She was a big old friendly girl.
Who tried to fight her empty nights
By smilin’ at the world.



And she said, “Hey bub it’s — it’s been awhile
Since you been around.
Where the Hell you been hidin’?
And why you look so down?”



Well the little man just sat there
Like he’d never heard a sound.



The waitress she gave out with a cough,
And actin’ not the least put off,
She spoke once again.



She said, “I don’t want to bother you,
Consider it’s understood.
I know I’m not no beauty queen,
But I sure can listen good.”



And the little man took his drink in his hand
And he raised it to his lips.
He took a couple of sips,
Then he told the waitress this story …



“I am the midnight watchman down at Miller’s Tool and Die.
And I watch the metal rustin’; I watch the time go by.
A week ago at the diner, I stopped to get a bite,
And this here lovely lady she sat two seats from my right.
And Lord, Lord, Lord (Lord, Lord, Lord) she was alright.



“You see, she was so damned beautiful
That she could warm a winter frost.
But she looked long past lonely,
And well nigh unto lost.
Now I’m not much of a mover,
Or a pick-’em-up easy guy,
But I decided to glide on over,
And give her one good try.
And Lord, Lord, Lord (Lord, Lord, Lord)
She was worth a try.



“Well I was tongued-tied like a school boy,
I stammered out some words.
It did not really matter much,
‘Cause I don’t think she heard.
She just looked clear on through me
To a space back in my head.
It shamed me into silence,
As quietly she said:


If you want me to come with you,
Then that’s all right with me.
‘Cause I know I’m goin’ nowhere,
And anywhere’s a better place to be …
Anywhere’s a better place to be.



“Well I drove her to my boarding house,
And I took her up to my room.
And I went to turn on the only light,
To brighten up the gloom.
But she said,


Please leave the light off,
Oh I don’t mind the dark.

And as her clothes all tumbled ’round her,
I could hear my heart.
The moonlight shone upon her
As she lay back in my bed.
It was the kind of scene I only
Had imagined in my head.
I just could not believe it,
To think that she was real.
And as I tried to tell her she said,


Shhh … I know just how you feel.
And if you want to come here with me,
Then that’s all right with me.
‘Cause I’ve been oh so lonely,
Lovin’ someone is a better way to be …
Anywhere’s a better place to be.



“Well the morning come so swiftly,
I held her in my arms.
And she slept like a baby,
Snug and safe from harm.
I did not want to share her,
Or dare to break the mood,
So before she woke I went out
To buy us both some food.



“I came back with my paper bag,
To find that she was gone.
She’d left a six word letter saying:


‘It’s time that I moved on.’



You know the waitress she took her bar rag,
And wiped it across her eyes.
And as she spoke her voice came out
As something like a sigh.
She said, “I wish that I was beautiful,
Or that you were halfway blind.
And I wish I weren’t so Goddamn fat,
I wish that you were mine.
And I wish that you’d come with me,
When I leave for home.
For we both know all about emptiness,
And livin’ all alone.”



And the little man,
Looked at the empty glass in his hand,
And he smiled a crooked grin,
He said, “I, I guess I’m out of gin.
And know we both have been
So lonely …
… And if you want me to come with you,
Then that’s all right with me.
‘Cause I know I’m goin’ nowhere,
And anywhere’s a better place to be.” .

The question is: Is this a happy or sad ending and why?