So one of the people whose Xanga I read daily always starts off with a quote. I am not quite that dreative, but for the fun of whoever maybe reading this I will toss out some of my favorite movie quotes. Feel free to try and identify them all in the comments:
Mr. Brown: O.K., let me tell you what Like a Virgin’s about. It’s all about this cooze who’s a regular fuck machine, I’m talking morning, day, night, afternoon, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick.
Mr. Blue: How many dicks is that?
Mr. White: A lot.
Mr. Brown: Then one day she meets this John Holmes motherfucker and it’s like, whoa baby, I mean this cat is like Charles Bronson in the Great Escape, he’s digging tunnels. Now, she’s gettin’ the serious dick action and she’s feeling something she ain’t felt since forever. Pain. Pain. It hurts her. It shouldn’t hurt her, you know her pussy should be Bubble Yum by now, but when this cat fucks her it hurts. It hurts just like it did the first time. You see the pain is reminding a fuck machine what it once was like to be a virgin. Hence, “Like a virgin.”
Lloyd Dobler: I don’t want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don’t want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed. You know, as a career, I don’t want to do that.
D.C.: Why don’t you just call her again?
Lloyd Dobler: I draw the line at 7 unreturned phone calls.
Lloyd Dobler: I got a question. If you guys know so much about women, how come you’re here at like the Gas ‘n’ Sip on a Saturday night completely alone drinking beers with no women anywhere?
Joe: By choice, man.
John Bender: Screws fall out all the time, the world is an imperfect place.
Richard Vernon: Don’t mess with the bull, young man. You’ll get the horns.
Richard Vernon: What if your home… what if your family… what if your *dope* was on fire?
John Bender: Impossible, sir. It’s in Johnson’s underwear.
Claire Standish: What’s your name?
John Bender: What’s yours?
Claire Standish: Claire.
John Bender: Claire?
Claire Standish: Claire. It’s a family name.
John Bender: Oh, it’s a fat girl’s name.
Claire Standish: Oh, thank you.
John Bender: You’re welcome.
Claire Standish: I’m not fat.
John Bender: Well not at present, but I can see you really pushing maximum density. See I’m not sure if you know this, but there are two kinds of fat people: there’s fat people that were born to be fat, and there’s fat people that were once thin but became fat… so when you look at ’em you can sorta see that thin person inside. You see, you’re gonna get married, you’re gonna squeeze out a few puppies and then, uh…
Charles De Mar: This is pure snow! Do you have any idea what the street value of this mountain is?
Charles De Mar: [giving skiing instructions] Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn.
Tree Trimmer: Now that’s a real shame when folks be throwin’ away a perfectly good white boy like that.
Jack Woltz: Johnny Fontane never gets that movie. That part is perfect for him, it’ll make him a big star, and I’m gonna run him out of the business – and let me tell you why: Johnny Fontane ruined one of Woltz International’s most valuable proteges. For five years we had her under training – singing lessons, acting lessons, dancing lessons. I spent hundreds of thousands of dollars on her, I was gonna make her a big star. And let me be even more frank, just to show you that I’m not a hard-hearted man, and that it’s not all dollars and cents: She was beautiful; she was young; she was innocent. She was the greatest piece of ass I’ve ever had, and I’ve had ’em all over the world. And then Johnny Fontane comes along with his olive oil voice and guinea charm, and she runs off. She threw it all away just to make me look ridiculous! And a man in my position can’t afford to be made to look ridiculous!
Priest: Don’t be afraid, my son. No one is more powerful than God.
Calogero ‘C’ Anello: I don’t know about that, father. Your guy may be bigger than my guy up there, but my guy is bigger than your guy down here.
Priest: Ya got a point.
Sonny: Alright, listen to me. You pull up right where she lives, right? Before you get outta the car, you lock both doors. Then, get outta the car, you walk over to her. You bring her over to the car. Dig out the key, put it in the lock and open the door for her. Then you let her get in. Then you close the door. Then you walk around the back of the car and look through the rear window. If she doesn’t reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in: dump her.
Calogero ‘C’ Anello: Just like that?
Sonny: Listen to me, kid. If she doesn’t reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in, that means she’s a selfish broad and all you’re seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast.
Sonny: You gotta do what your heart tells you to do. Let me tell you somethin’ right now. You’re only allowed three great women in your lifetime. They come along like the great fighters, every ten years. Rocky Marciano. Sugar Ray Robinson. Joe Louis. Sometimes you get ’em all at once. Me? I had my three when I was 16. That happens. What are you gonna do? That’s the way it goes, you know? Tell you right now. See this girl? Maybe this girl, she put wind in your sails. Maybe she’s your first great one.
Adam Levy: Two people can be perfect for each other but if the timing’s wrong its never going to work out. Bad timing is the reason that most normal people end up single. Weirdos and creeps are single cos they are weird and creepy but people like us are single because of bad timing.
Cameron: [singing] When Cameron was in Egypt’s land…”let my Cameron go!”
Grace: Oh, he’s very popular Ed. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, waistoids, dweebies, dickheads – they all adore him. They think he’s a righteous dude.
Ferris: Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Ism’s in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, “I don’t believe in The Beatles, I just believe in me.” Good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus and I’d still have to bum rides off of people.
Elwood: Illinois Nazis.
Jake: I hate Illinois Nazis.
Corrections Officer: One Timex digital watch, broken. One unused prophylactic. One soiled.
Jake: [fakes accent] How much for the little girl? How much for the women?
Man: What?
Jake: Your women. I want to buy your women. The little girl, your daughters… sell them to me. Sell me your children.
Jake: No I didn’t. Honest… I ran out of gas. I, I had a flat tire. I didn’t have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn’t come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts. IT WASN’T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD.
Elwood: It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we’ve got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark and we’re wearing sunglasses.
Jake: Hit it.
Navin R. Johnson: Well I’m gonna to go then. And I don’t need any of this. I don’t need this stuff, and I don’t need you. I don’t need anything except this.
[picks up an ashtray]
Navin R. Johnson: And that’s it and that’s the only thing I need, is this. I don’t need this or this. Just this ashtray. And this paddle game, the ashtray and the paddle game and that’s all I need. And this remote control. The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that’s all I need. And these matches. The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control and the paddle ball. And this lamp. The ashtray, this paddle game and the remote control and the lamp and that’s all I need. And that’s all I need too. I don’t need one other thing, not one – I need this. The paddle game, and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches, for sure. And this. And that’s all I need. The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, this magazine and the chair.
[walking outside]
Navin R. Johnson: And I don’t need one other thing, except my dog.
[dog barks]
Navin R. Johnson: I don’t need my dog.
Navin R. Johnson: He hates these cans. Stay away from the cans.
Navin R. Johnson: Lord loves a workin’ man; don’t trust whitey; see a doctor and get rid of it.
Navin R. Johnson: [singing] I’m picking out a Thermos for you. Not an ordinary Thermos for you. But the extra best Thermos that you can buy, with vinyl and stripes and a cup built right in.
Navin R. Johnson: The new phone book’s here. The new phone book’s here. This is the kind of spontaneous publicity I need. My name in print. That really makes somebody. Things are going to start happening to me now.
Navin R. Johnson: I know we’ve only known each other four weeks and three days, but to me it seems like nine weeks and five days. The first day seemed like a week and the second day seemed like five days. And the third day seemed like a week again and the fourth day seemed like eight days. And the fifth day you went to see your mother and that seemed just like a day, and then you came back and later on the sixth day, in the evening, when we saw each other, that started seeming like two days, so in the evening it seemed like two days spilling over into the next day and that started seeming like four days, so at the end of the sixth day on into the seventh day, it seemed like a total of five days. And the sixth day seemed like a week and a half. I have it written down, but I can show it to you tomorrow if you want to see it.
Navin R. Johnson: Now be totally honest. You do have a boyfriend don’t you.
Marie: Kind of
Navin R. Johnson: I know this is our first date but do you think the next time you make love to your boyfriend you could think of me?
Marie: Well I haven’t made love to him yet.
Navin R. Johnson: That’s to bad. Do you think its possible that someday could make love with me and think of him.
Marie: Who knows maybe you and he could make love and you could think of me.
Navin R. Johnson: I’d be happy to be in there somewhere.
McMurphy: Who’s the head bull-moose loony around here?
But if you want my favorite quote, it is the one i have carried around with me since high school:
“It is not the critic who counts, not the one who points out how the strong man stumbled or how the doer of deeds might have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred with sweat and dust and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who, if he wins, knows the triumph of high achievement; and who, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat.”
-TR