So once upon a time I had a profile on Match.com. It is still there, I am not a member anymore though so i can’t be responded to. Had very limited success:
Girl 1: Very cool girl, great to talk to. Just no physical attraction at all. I really tried to find her attractive it just didn’t work. I felt pretty shallow, but she was at least 100 pounds heavier than I was and a few inches shorter.
Girl 2: Cool and absolutely thought I was the most brilliant guy she ever met. Problem wasn’t the 60 more pounds as much as the 60 fewer IQ points.
Girl 3: This girl was a train wreck. Not bright, a little trashy, and insisted on sending me at least 5 forwarded emails per day of the chain letter and religous variety. Never even got to the first date.
Girl 4: She was a full four years after the others. She was a teacher and very attractive. had a blast on our first few dates and really thought it was heading somewhere. Then school started back up, she worked a ton and was always run down for the 4 hours a week I got to see her. Eventually I got the picture she was seeing other people since she was checking her replies on Match.com daily. I asked her about it. She accused me of stalking her and said she really didn’t see it working because I lacked ambition. Granted we met in a transition period of my life, but I am not sure where that came from. Perhaps a poor understanding of my past and goals for the future. I still think this was her way to avoid admitting she was cheating, but it is in the past and I am not too worried about it anymore.
Keep in mind this is over a 2 year period. 12 months x 2 years x 29.95 per month = $718.80. That buys a lot of drinks at the bar for cute girls.
Without further Ado here is the text of my ad:
About me and what I’m looking for
Maybe it was all of the John Hughes movies growing up, but isn’t the nice guy supposed to end up with the right girl in the end. I am still waiting for that ending. I am honest, sincere, loyal, funny, and intellegent. I would like to meet someone with the same characteristics. I have been reasonably successful in business, traveled through most of the country, spent a few years on the coast, and am in Missouri looking to find that happily ever after. I am witty, entertaining, and haven’t forgot the finer points of chivalry I was raised to beleive in. I enjoy people, good food, good conversation, and good music. I am a bit of a social chameleon, I can carry a conversation on most any topic in most any circumstance. Would you like to meet a great guy that leaves you wondering, “what’s the catch?” Then you may not be for me. If you never lost faith that there was a wonderful guy out there for you, then I think it is time we met. I didn’t lead off with what I looked like for a reason. Too often the wrong girls will talk to me because of how I look. Meanwhile, The girls I may want to talk to are afraid to come by. I am not a model, but you won’t be disappointed.
I would like to meet a woman who is sweet, funny, sincere, and likes to have a good time. Someone who doesn’t need the drama of a boyfriend who is a jerk. Someone who doesn’t find nice guys boring. If a nice, entertaining, secure, and stable guy is what you are looking for I would like to meet you.
for fun:I enjoy meeting new people. I am very social and have no difficulty striking up a conversation with a stranger. Some people explore the world searching for adventure. I prefer to explore the thoughts of the people all around me. |
my job:After spending years behind a desk, I decided it wasn’t for me. Now I manage a restaurant. I enjoy interacting with guests nightly and leading team through very busy nights. |
favorite hot spots:I like upscale restaurants and dive bars. Each serve their purpose. I love exploring new places around town and have discovered hidden gems in almost every corner of the city. |
favorite things:I typically try to be out and about. The first step in adventure is getting off the couch. I enjoy a good movie and keep the DVR full of reruns of TV Shows I missed the first time around. Try to make time to watch the morning rerun of Ed daily. |
last read:I try to read the paper everyday.
For those of you who know me, would you consider it accurate? For those of you who don’t, What is the ungodly flaw in the ad that kept the response so low? EDIT: In addition to the question immediately above, I will make this post a choose your own adventure type deal. Only about 4 people read this so I will let you all vote which topic you would like addressed next. Option One: True tales of a Hooters Manager. Option Two: Random celebs I have met. Choose Wisely |
I think that makes you sound interesting and exciting to meet. pretty accurate. Sorry about the competetion, dude. Not trying to knock a chair out from under you.
I think it sounds very accurate. Sorry you haven’t found your happily ever after yet. I wanna hear Hooters stories! lol
Soooo…..I think it was the old adage that “if something sounds too good to be true, then it probably is.”
You screwed yourself by tooting you own horn about who you are……lol…
Maybe they saw it as bragging. Just a thought.
As your sister, I choose random celebrities…I would really like to hear more about your time with the Goos.
I’m not much of a celeb story reader … i prefer the true tales from work.
I don’t think guys get very good replies at dating sites. If you have some specific interesting quirk or interest (barolo wine or the Scottish musician Fish or a favorite columnist) you might get a reply from a likewise interested person just on that … but you’d probably have to change those often to “troll the most water” (to use a fishing analogy). I think because the good women get so bombarded out there on those sites (its worse than a bar as no one is afraid to send an anonymous email … at least the fear of rejection keeps many guys from advancing at women in bars) that being aggressive is pretty much a non starter.
I did meet my current girlfriend (of 3 years) on a data site. She was one of those ones with no picture just out looking for odd/intellectual posts (and i’m sure mine was) and contacted me (i had pretty much given up on the site having garnered only a couple disastrous dates there).
Grain of salt, though … if i was any good at that kind of thing i wouldn’t have experienced dateless years (not weeks or months, pretty much all of grad school). But the quirks, that is how i eventually got lucky out there in the e-dating world.
hmmm…. well, the celeb thing might be pretty interesting, but unless KISS is in there, I definitely have to say: THE HOOTERS STORIES!!!! I think that sounds way more entertaining!!! I think it sounded accurate, but I think that it might also make girls think that they already know what there is to know, there is no mystery. I think that you should leave it a little more open-ended or however you would put that, so that they have something to wonder about! idk, just an idea! I have reservations for the 8th, we will be in smoking, so i actually need to call up there because i forgot to tell them that!! unless you could fix it for me! if you can’t that is completely fine!! but i know that i forgot to say smoking!! but n e wayz…. i shall talk to you later!!!
idk… but i do know that you are wrong!!! thank you for letting them know!!! i already know what im guna eat!! lol!! yea, i figured i had better make reservations quick because northtowne has their prom the same night!!!
i have two girlfriends that insist i would have a blast on these dating sites, but they they also are not going to let me sign up/submit a profile/whatever until they are here to talk me through it, and also help me word my entry before i put it up. also, they said that e-harmony is better for dating/relationships, and the match.com is more for hook-ups. don’t know the validity of that statement, but that could also be the problem.
and I vote for random celebs (cause i work in a restaurant as well, and i’d rather hear about chance encounters with famous people than stuff i see everyday. but that’s just me.)